Until It's Gone
by Natalie Elizabeth
Summary: Set during TOGOM. Lois blames herself for Clarks death. Superman has to deal with the loss of Clark too. What kind of life will they have now that Clark is gone. Can he stay gone forever
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Ok so it's the usual spiel. I don't own these characters wish I did, but I don't. I am simply borrowing for the purposes of this story which I do own. So please don't sue me.

Setting: During episode That Old Gang Of Mine. Clark has just been shot. Assume that she has spoken to the police and everyone at the Daily Planet know Clark is dead.

Authors Note: Ok this is my first Lois and Clark Fic. I usually write Buffy ones, but after recently falling in love all over again with Lois and Clark I decided to try it so please let me know what you think.

Until it's Gone

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Lois walked up the steps to her apartment as the tears began to fall all over again. No longer would Clark walk up those very steps with her. No longer would he knock on her door. No longer would he exist in the world, only in her mind. Some how she found her way inside her apartment. She didn't know how she got there. It was like she was in a dream or rather a nightmare. She was just going through the motions.

Lois caught her reflection in the glass front of a cabinet. Her red dress mocked her. Its your fault he's dead. Why couldn't she have worn basic black. She would have blended in. But no not Lois. She had to stand out, be noticed. And now he was dead. Lois screamed and tore the dress from her body. Animalistic sounds reverberated out of her body as she fell to the floor crying.

Clark paced the floor of his apartment. What was he going to do. He was dead. At least every one thought he was. The only way to continue living was to admit that he was Superman and then would he really be living. No one would treat him the same way anymore. Especially Lois. He wouldn't be Clark Kent, reporter. He would be Superman, man of steel. It was his own stupidity that had gotten him in this predicament. He was just trying to protect her like he had done so many times before. He should have known the gangsters wouldn't hesitate to shoot. He could save so many lives yet he couldn't save the person who meant the most to him. Himself.

He had to go see Lois. He had to make sure she was alright. As he walked to the door he stopped. He couldn't go as Clark he would have to go as superman. A persona he might have to get used to being all the time. With a quick spin he had changed into his outfit and was on his way to Lois apartment.

Lois was laying on her couch cuddling a pillow. Clark must have sat on the corner of the couch recently as she could smell his cologne. Would she ever forget the way he smelt, the way he smiled. She would have to go to his apartment when his parents arrived. Would they let her keep any of his things. Maybe. They were nice people. At least she would be able to find out exactly what cologne he wore. It was so different from anything anyone else wore. So earthy, like a breath of fresh air . She would go out a buy a hundred bottles of it so she would never forget him. Yet she wished she could forget. Forget how Clark had gallantly come forward like he thought he was superman. The bullets hadn't bounced off his body though. That image would remain with her forever.

A gust of wind coming through her open window caused Lois to look up. She watched as superman hovered outside her window.

" Can I come in" He tentatively asked before coming closer to the window.

" No"

Superman stopped.

"No" He said in disbelief.

"You weren't there" She screamed. "The one time in my life when I needed you the most you weren't there"

Hovering outside her window superman looked down ashamed. "I am superman but it doesn't mean I can be every where at once Lois"

"Then what's the point" She asked standing up and walking away.

Superman came through her window and landed.

" Because saving one life is still a life. That person gets to live" He told her. It was a speech he knew well. One he told himself over and over again.

"So someone else was worthy of living while Clark had to die" Lois said turning to stare at him.

"I am sorry Lois, but that's just the way it is sometimes"

" Well I don't accept that"

Superman looked done again. What could he do. What could he say. He was thinking all the things she was saying.

"I can see your upset"

" Understatement of the century"

" Maybe you should speak to someone"

"Oh yeah that's great. Go to some shrink who is only going to tell me what I already know. I am so upset because I feel guilty. I am to blame for Clarks death. See I can do it my self for free" She said throwing up her arms.

"Is that what you think Lois, that its your fault"

Lois nodded and then her head dropped as tears fell from her eyes. Would they ever stop. She didn't know her body could have so many tears inside it. Superman walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. He may be the man of steel yet Lois' tears were enough to break him.

"Its not your fault" He told her.

"It was" She sobbed. "He tried to stop them hurting me"

"Lois Clark would have done anything to protect you, that's just the way it is with him" He told her.

"If I didn't get in trouble he wouldn't need to protect me, he's not you" She told him

"Lois I think you need to go away"

Lois pulled out of his grasp. " What, no I cant"

"Lois I think its for the best"

" I have to find Clarks killer" She insisted.

" That's what the police are for. Lois if you go noising around you could get killed to. Clark wouldn't want that"

"So what am I supposed to do" She asked.

" Go see the Kents"

" Clarks parents, oh no I couldn't face them"

How could she go see his parents. She was the reason their son was dead.

Superman didn't know why he thought she should go see his parents. He had rung them to let them know what was going on. Perry had already contacted them so they had been waiting for his call to explain. His mom had been upset. She knew her boy was ok but the rest of the world thought he was dead. Could they give Lois what she needed? He hoped so.

"I've talked to them Lois , they want to see you. That's why I am here, to take you"

" You mean fly, all the way to Smallville"

" We could walk" He said with a smile.

" This is not the time for jokes"

" Sorry. Lets go" He said picking her up.

"I can't I killed there son" She told him

"That's not true and they know that. Come on they are hurting just as much as you are"

With that he flew out the window.

Superman landed on his parents porch. He set Lois down then opened the door.

" I better go in first to explain."

Lois frowned. " I thought they wanted me to come"

Superman hesitated. " They did, umm do, but they didn't think you would come"

Lois gave him a half scoff. "Clark probably told them how stubborn I was"

Tears began to well in her eyes again. Why did bother to stop. Superman led her into the kitchen then went into his parents bedroom.

" Mom, Dad" He whispered. " Mom"

He watched as his mom woke with a start.

" Clark honey who.." Clark covered her mouth with his hand.

" Don't call me Clark"

He let go of his mother and watched as she gave him a stern look

" Sorry, Lois is here"

Martha sat up then shook her husband.

" Jonathon wake up"

"Mmm what"

" Lois is here" She said climbing out of bed.

" Lois" He asked sitting up. Her saw Clark and quickly got out of bed. " Son what's wrong"

" She is taking Clarks death really bad. She's blaming herself. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't leave her alone"

" You did the right thing" He told his son wrapping his arms around him.

Lois sat at the kitchen table. She had sat at the table with Clark. Clark had sat at this table for years and years before she came along and now he never would. It was a bad idea coming here. Being surrounded by Clark things. There were pictures of him smiling with his parents so happy and full of life and now that was all gone.

" Lois honey"

Lois looked up and saw Martha Kent wearing a robe over her pajamas.

" I am sorry I didn't mean to get you guys out of bed. We should have waited until morning" She said looking over at Superman who had just walked in With Clarks dad.

"No No Honey" Martha said walking over to Lois and putting her arms around her. She began to rub her back when Lois began to sob loudly.

Jonathon looked at his son. " We will look after her. You go catch yourumm, I mean Clarks killer"

He looked over at his mom. She nodded agreeing with her husband.

" Lois I am going to leave ok, but if you need me the Kents know how to get in contact with me"

She nodded then held on to Martha tighter.

Superman took one last look at the group and then flew off.

Martha looked over at her husband and he just shrugged his shoulders. When Clark had talked about Lois he told them she was a strong person who didn't let anything get to her. He told them they were best friends, partners. It was clear to see that Lois cared for their boy very much, they were more than just partners.

" Come on Lois" Jonathon said walking over to Lois. "You need to rest. Things will be better in the morning"

Lois looked up at Jonathon. " Will Clark be alive in the morning" She asked him.

Martha and Jonathon looked at each other.

" I didn't think so"

" Come on Lois" Martha said pulling the woman up from the chair. " You can sleep in our room"

" No No" She said struggling out of Marthas hold. " I wanna sleep in Clarks room"

Martha watched as Lois tried to pull herself together. " Ok honey what ever you want" She said leading her over to Clarks room. Martha helped Lois into bed. She had been wearing sweats which were as good as pajamas. Lois snuggled into the bed. She wanted to pull the blanket over her head.

"How can you want me here when I killed your son" She asked the Kents.

Jonathon entered to the room and sat on the bed next to his wife.

"Lois the police called and told us what happened. These men are ruthless it wasn't your fault we know that. Having you here is going to help us as much as it will you. Get some sleep we will talk tomorrow"

" Jonathon is right Lois. Its not your fault and we will talk in the morning." Martha said smoothing down the covers

Lois watched as the couple walked out the door, great people. Maybe they were right. Maybe they did need her as much as she needed them right now. Pulling Clarks pillow into a hug Lois closed her eyes but the tears didn't cease to fall.

TBC

So what do you think let me know and ill write more


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Lois sat quietly on the Kents couch the following morning. She had barely said two words to the Kents. Shock. That's what Martha had said when all Lois could do was nod or shake her head. Lois had woken up feeling safe, warm and happy, and then she remembered. Five seconds. Ten at the most. Ten seconds of pure bliss before reality set in. Clark was dead. She would never see his smiling face every again. Today the tears had stopped. She had wanted to cry. Begged to cry, but she couldn't. She couldn't cry for Clark and that's what hurt the most. He deserved her tears. She had cried yesterday. The tears hadn't stopped then. She felt as if she could never cry enough. If she shed one tear for every happy moment Clark had given her then she would cry for the rest of her life. That was why she felt so guilty for not being able to cry.

Martha watched as Lois sat on the couch staring into the abyss. She had seen the same look in her boys face when he had woken her in the early hours of the morning. Lost, They both had looked lost. Lois had lost someone she cared about and so had Clark. The death of Clark had meant the death of any kind of relationship with Lois. It was going to rip the two of them apart and this wasn't something Martha could bare to watch. Martha walked around the couch and sat down next to Lois.

" Lois you have to snap out of it"

Lois turned to look at Martha. For the first time her life she couldn't talk.

" Clark wouldn't want you to be like this Lois" Martha told her.

" Well Clark is dead so there is nothing he can do about it" Lois finally managed to say.

" I will not have you speak about our boy like that," Jonathon said coming in from out side. He sat on the coffee table in front of Lois.

" I'm sorry," she said shaking her head. " I just don't know what to do"

Lois looked at Jonathon than Martha. She saw the love in their eyes. Love for their son but also for each other.

" How would you feel if Martha died Jonathon? Would you be happy? Could you go on living," Lois asked him.

" Of course I would be upset," he told her. "But I love Martha very much and... oh" He said as it finally sunk in. He looked across to his wife to see if she could provide him with answers.

" Honey" Martha said turning to Lois. " Clark told us you were close. Partners, friends. He never told us well I mean we thought but"

" I never told him," Lois said.

Martha decided to play dumb. She needed to hear it come from her mouth. " Told him what?"

" That I loved him," Lois said. It was now that the tears began to fall. " He died without knowing"

Jonathon joined the pair on the couch and together he and Martha held Lois.

" He knew you cared for him," Jonathon told her. " You were his closest friend"

Lois shook her head. " I didn't just love him like a friend or a partner. I loved him. I loved him and he doesn't know. He will never know"

Martha and Jonathon looked at each other over Lois head. Love sure stunk sometimes. From the first time Clark had told them about Lois they knew he was hooked. In love. He had friends, even girlfriends in the past but he had never gone on about them the way he did with Lois. When Clark and Lois had come to Smallville it was clearly evident how their son felt for the woman in their arms. For weeks after they had left friends had come up to them asking when they would be hearing wedding bells. Lois wasn't exactly the kind of woman they had hoped for their son to fall in love with. After meeting her and listening to Clark talk about her they understood why. Lois was unlike anyone else, she was different. Just like their son.

" Your in love with Clark" Jonathon asked.

Lois nodded. " I figured I had plenty of time to tell him"

" What about Superman" Martha asked. She had to be sure Lois was 100 in love with her son, no lingering feelings for Superman. Even if Clark was Superman. " Clark said there was something going on between the two of you"

Lois shook her head. " At first I thought that maybe" Lois wiped her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. " But no. There is nothing going on. He's a great guy and I was infatuated at first. I mean who wouldn't be. He has got all this power and he is kind and gentle, but he's not Clark"

Martha and Jonathon shared another look. Their son was going to have to make a decision.

Clark had been flying around all day trying to find his killer. So far he was unsuccessful. Although that probably was due to the fact he had been flying around in circles. He couldn't keep his mind on the job. Lois. That's all he thought about. How was he ever going to be able to let her go? He could stay in metropolis as Superman but that wasn't enough. Sure he would see her whenever she got in trouble and that would be often but it wasn't the same. He would never be able to sit at his desk and watch her furiously type a story. Never see excitement cross her face when a snitch would call her with information. Never hear her call him Clark. Never look at him like she would look at Clark. He had to leave metropolis. He loved Lois but it was going to kill him to be so close yet so far from her. If he had any hope of leading a normal life he had to leave. It would be hard he knew it but he had worked his whole life trying to fit in. he couldn't just throw it all away. Life without Lois would be probably be the death of him. It wouldn't matter if he stayed or went. It would still mean a life with our Lois. If he left there was still a chance he could peruse his second love in life. Reporting. At least that could fill both his days and nights he wouldn't have time to think about anything else. First he had to find his killer.

After doing yet another lap of metropolis Clark saw the familiar glow of the blue letters on the daily planet building. Maybe Perry had some information on Capone and the gang. Flying through an open window Superman stopped when he saw everyone was silent with their heads bowed done. He saw them all holding glasses in the air. He frowned and looked around for an explanation then saw the sign. _Good bye Clark we will miss you. _Clark quickly bowed his head. He could feel the sorrow of the people around him. These people were like family and they were grieving. It hurt more than kryptonite to know he was putting all of them through this.

"Superman"

Clark looked up. Perry was beckoning him. Clark walked over and stood next to Perry.

" Superman. I have been trying to contact you. We are having a little memorial for Clark. I was wondering seeing how you were very close to Clark if you would like to say a few words."

What was he supposed to say? He wasn't dead; he was standing right there in front of them.

"Clark was a really great person." Great person. Couldn't he come up with anything better than that? " I know he would really appreciate you all being here. I know he cared about everyone here at the planet"

Everyone began to clap their hands.

"Well thank you thank you."

Clark looked as Capone and his gang descended on them

" I am here to take over the planet," Capone told them. " And anyone who tries to stop me, will face the same fate as Mr Kent"

"You have already taken one of us." Jimmy screamed. " But your not taking any more"

Before Clark could react he watched as the employees of the planet began bombarding the gang with anything they could get their hands on. Champagne glasses, pencils and food began to fly around the room. Showing no fear Jimmy swung a punch at Clyde while the rest of the planet began to embark no the rest of the gang. With the gang distracted trying to deflect the objects and woman bagging them with their purses Clark was able to quickly disarm them. He watched as telephone and computer cables were pulled from their machines and used to tie up the gang. Clark gave a little laugh. This group of very ordinary people had banded together and had saved the day.

Clark walked up to Perry and gave him a congratulatory pat on the back.

" You have got an extraordinary bunch of people here"

Perry shook Supermans hand. " That I do"

" Looks like you don't need me here" On cue the sound of police sirens echoed through the planet. Obviously during the scuffle someone had called the police.

" If you excuse me. I believe there is a woman in Smallville who would like to hear the news on the gang being caught."

Jimmy ran over to Superman. "Before you go. Could you tell Lois that we all love her? If she needs a friend to talk to, we are all here"

" Thanks Jimmy I'll be sure to tell her"

Clark landed at his parents home. He had barley taken one step when he felt himself being tugged back by his cape. He spun around fist out ready to pound when he saw his parents.

" Hi, what's up"?

He looked at the sad expression on there face.

"What's wrong? Is it Lois"?

Clark started toward the house.

" Clark honey wait" Martha called.

"Mom" He warned in a whisper. " You have to call me Superman"

"Alright then Superman. Can we talk to you in the barn"

Clark looked to the house and frowned.

"She's asleep," Jonathon told him.

Clark looked back at his parents then reluctantly walked into the barn.

" Ok what's going on" he asked them. His parents were usually straightforward with him.

" How do you feel about Lois?" his mother asked him.

" What" he asked them. " Is this because I brought her here. She needed help I didn't know what else to do"

" Now calm down son. Your mother just asked you a simple question," Jonathon told him.

Clark sat down. "ok I am sorry. I care about Lois. That's why I bought her here"

" We know you care about her son" Martha said stroking her sons hair. " But is it more than that"

Clark ran his hand over his face. "I love her. Alright. Is that what you wanted me to admit" Clark hung his head down.

" Why is it painful for you to admit son, love is supposed to be beautiful" Jonathon asked. He could see his son was struggling with his mind.

" Because I love her but there is nothing I can do about it. She thinks I am dead'

Martha stroked her sons back like the way she had done with Lois earlier that day.

" She loves you" Martha told him.

Clark stood up and began to walk away. " I know"

"You don't understand honey. She really loves you" Martha said going after him.

"What " he said shocked.

"She really loves you" His father reaffirmed.

Clark shook his head. His parents must be crazy. No way did Lois love him. Not in the way he loved her anyway.

Martha placed her hand on Clarks shoulder. " We had a talk with her honey. We have been doing nothing but talk all day. She really does love."

" Why are you telling me this mom?"

Clark's heart was breaking. His parents wouldn't lie to him. Surely they had figured out how he felt about Lois. Why would they be telling him this, they knew nothing could come if it know.

" Clark honey. Lois is really upset and well Jonathon and I have discussed this"

Clark frowned. " Discussed what. I don't understand"

"We think you should tell her"

"Tell her what?"

Jonathon walked up beside his wife. He had always been against anyone finding out who his son was. After seeing the way Lois was acting today he knew his son had no choice. Lois had been right. He would be a complete mess if he lost Martha. He wouldn't want anyone to go through that pain. Yet here they all were allowing Lois to go through it and she didn't have to. Clark wasn't dead. He was standing in front of him in a Halloween costume

"She needs to know that Clark isn't dead". Jonathon watched as confusion crossed his son face.

" But dad Clark is dead"

Jonathon shook his dead. "You need to tell her son. She needs to know that Clark is Superman"

"But dad"

"Your fathers right" Martha said interrupting. " She has to know"

" I have wanted to tell her mom. I just didn't think it was a good idea" Clark began to pace. Could he do it? Could he really tell her who he was? It was a big decision. Lois could be trusted he knew that. He just didn't know if he could handle the repercussions. Would Lois treat him the same.

" What would be the point in telling her mom? I have decided to leave metropolis"

" Why?"

Clark sighed. " I have been thinking about it all day. I can't be superman all the time and I can't be Clark in metropolis. I'll just have to go somewhere no one knows me. Somewhere I can start over. Somewhere Lois isn't. Its just going to be to hard."

"But Clark. If you tell her you wont need to leave"

"Martha" Jonathon interrupted. " If Clark has made up his mind than that's it"

"I think you should still tell her. Other wise she will spend the rest of her life blaming herself for your death"

his mother had a point. If Lois did love him and he told her then maybe he wouldn't have to leave. Clark sighed. Yes he would. What kind of life could he offer her? He wouldn't be able to take her to the movies or dinner. Sure they could fly to another city and he could change clothes but what about the little things. Like going for a spur of the moment walk, being in public together with out people staring, he couldn't do that to her.

"I'll talk to her, then ill decide" Clark told them heading off towards the house. He opened the door and looked around the house. His father had said she was asleep. She wasn't on the couch so Clark headed to the only place she could be sleeping. His room!

He opened the door quietly and the object of his love came into view. She was wearing the same clothes he had dropped her off in less than 24 hours before. She seemed to be hugging one of his pillows tightly. One of his old work shirts was clutched in her hand. It was her tear stained face that broke his heart. Had she stopped crying at all since he left? He had underestimated her. It was clear she had taken his death very badly. He shut his bedroom door and plunged the room in darkness.

" Martha" He heard Lois call.

" Its " Clark stopped. Should he just come out and say it, better not. " Its Superman"

He heard the bed move than the light beside the bed switched on. He watched as Lois sat up and wiped away the dry tears on her face.

" What's happened? Are Perry and Jimmy ok" She asked.

Clark smiled. She really wasn't as heartless as people often perceived her to be.

" There fine. They want you to know they are thinking about you"

Lois smiled. " Any news on the gang"

Clark began to laugh. " Actually there is, there in jail"

" What?" she asked shocked. " Thank you"

Clarks killers had been caught and would be brought to justice. Some how she didn't feel as relieved as she thought she would.

" Well actually the thanks really belongs to all your friends at the planet"

"What I don't understand" Lois asked confused.

"I'll explain later" Clark took a deep breath. " Lois there is something very important I need to talk to you about"

Lois pulled back the blankets "What is it" she said trying to get out of bed.

" Sit. Please"

"Its sounds important" she said fixing the blankets over her again.

"It is. Lois I had a talk with the Kents. I hope you don't mind."

Lois shook her head " Why would I mind?"

"Because they told me you loved Clark"

He watched as embarrassment flashed across Lois face. It was true she loved him. He believed his parents but he had to see for himself.

"And" she asked trying to gather some confidence.

"And I just wanted to know if it were true" He wanted to hear her say those words. He just had to.

" Its true I love Clark, for all the good it will do know" Lois wiped her hand at her face as the tears began to fall. Clark reached across and grabbed some tissues and handed them to Lois.

Lois wiped her face then looked up at Superman. " Sorry I have been doing that a lot since his death"

" I understand," He told her. "Lois if Clark had a secret, would you keep it" He knew she would but he had to hear her say it.

Lois frowned. " If he had a secret why would it matter now"?

Clark sighed. " It just does ok. Please trust me"

"Ok umm sure. If Clark had a secret and he wanted me to keep it a secret I would. Its what partners do, its what friends do"

" Would you be angry at Clark for keeping the secret" He asked.

Lois frowned. " I suppose it would depend on what the secret was"

" Its big really big"

"And you know it"

Clark nodded.

" Well I guess I would be angry because he told you but didn't tell me. Didn't he trust me"?

" Its not that. He does trust you its just that, well. When he first had this secret he didn't know you that well. He didn't know if he could trust you then"

"He's been keeping a secret from me for that long"

" He didn't want to" Clark told her trying to clam her down.

"But he did"

Clark nodded. She was right. He had kept a very big secret from her. A secret, which he knew, he had to reveal before he dug himself in deeper. He took a deep breath.

Here goes.

TBC

Authors note: Ok it's a cliff hanger so you probably want to kill me but hey you want more story then please give me nice reviews and ill get the next chapter up quick.


	3. Chapter 3

Previously on Lois and Clark, Until it's Gone.

" _Would you be angry at Clark for keeping a secret" He asked._

" _Well I guess I would be angry because he told you but didn't tell me. Didn't he trust me"?_

" _Its not that. He does trust you its just that, well. When he first had this secret he didn't know you that well. He didn't know if he could trust you then"_

"_He's been keeping a secret from me for that long"_

" _He didn't want to" Clark told her trying to clam her down. _

"_But he did"_

_Clark nodded. She was right. He had kept a very big secret from her. A secret, which he knew, he had to reveal before he dug himself in deeper. He took a deep breath. _

_Here goes._

Chapter 3

"Clark isn't dead"

Clark watched as Lois face transformed into a blank stare.

" What are you talking about? I saw him get shot"

He watched as she began to tremble.

" I know he got shot Lois but he's not dead"

"If he's not dead, then where is he/"

Clark stood up and walked to his wardrobe. He pulled out clothes and an old pair of glasses. He dropped them on the bed before her.

" He's right here," He told her before spinning and changing into his Clark clothes.

"Lois?" he asked when she continued to stare at him. He stepped towards the bed only to stop when Lois scrambled back.

"Lois it's me Clark"

She continued to stare. Clark walked over to door to turn on a bright light. She had followed him with her eyes but she still hadn't moved, Clark took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He had stuffed things up. He saw she was watching him curiously. He rarely took his glass off in front of her. He put his glasses back on then took them off again. Could she see it? Could she see he was Superman and Clark? When she still didn't say anything Clark opened the bedroom door.

" Mom, Dad. Something's wrong"

Martha came rushing over. " What is it honey" Martha looked at her son and realised he was no longer wearing his Superman costume. " You didn't just" she made a twirling motion with her finger.

Clark nodded and Martha threw her arms up in frustration then walked over to Lois.

"I think you better leave us for a few minutes"

" Come on son" Jonathon said tapping Clark on the shoulder.

Clark nodded and walked out of the room. He walked over the kitchen table and sat down.

" She was scared of me dad"

Jonathon sat down with his son "It looked that way"

Clark put his head down. He never wanted to hurt Lois yet in the last few days that's all he seemed to be doing.

" I didn't do it right did I?" He asked his dad as he sat down with him.

" I guess not"

" How could I have gotten it so wrong. I have been practising it over and over in my head for months. Never did I expect it to turn out like this"

"You were going to tell her before this" Jonathon asked shocked.

"I didn't think it was right to love her and lie to her at the same time. When I practised telling her I would always tell her as Clark though"

"How could you have done it differently, you are Clark"

" I know but if Clark had told her he was Superman it would have been easier. I could have unbuttoned my shirt so she could see the suit. If it wasn't enough I could have burned something with my eyes"

Jonathon nodded. " It may have been less of a shock. Then again she wouldn't have been thinking you were dead for the last day."

Clark nodded. " I know, I know"

Clark put his head in his hands. He would never get that image of Lois being scared of him out of his head.

Martha sat on the bed holding Lois.

" Its ok Lois. Everything is ok"

Lois shook her head.

"There is a thing out there. He changed from Superman to Clark. We need to call the real superman he can save us." She mumbled in shock

Martha sighed. " That was the real superman Lois. Clark is superman"

Lois looked up at her. Could Martha be serious? She knew some old people went a little crazy but Martha seemed fine, usually.

" But he cant be" Lois told.

"Why?" Martha asked her.

Lois frowned. She didn't know why Clark couldn't be Superman. Both were kind and gentle but they were two different people weren't they. Lois continued to frown. When she had first met Clark he was quiet and mild mannered, boring even. Superman had been exciting, fun and adventurous. The more she thought about it Clark had become more exciting, fun and adventurous. The Clark she now knew could be Superman. She didn't know why she hadn't figured it out sooner. Lois looked at Martha who was nodding at her if realising that Lois did believe Clark was superman now.

"How come he didn't tell me sooner. When we first met he knew I was after the Superman story, a story he could have easily given me" She asked.

Martha sighed. " Because Clark wants to write the news not be it. Superman only came about because Clark has a need to help people. He believes he has his powers for that reason. We didn't raise Clark to be a super hero; we raised him to be a man. A man who has needs. Needs like everyone else. He wants to work and have fun and someday get married and start a family. He wants to be normal but he can't help who he is. That's why he developed Superman. If everyone knew that Clark Kent was Superman he would never get a minutes peace".

Lois sighed. " I guess so"

"He wanted tell you. I know he did. Jonathon and I are just so protective of him. Do you know what a relief it is to finally discuss how special my son is with another person"?

Lois looked at Martha shocked. "You mean no one else knows"

Martha smiled. " The only people who know are all in this house"

" Then why did he tell me for" Lois asked confused. " Clark was dead as far as I knew"

" We all discussed it. We didn't think it was right to think you were responsible for Clarks death. Clark couldn't leave until he knew you were going to be alright"

Lois thought about it. Martha was right, she was ready to spend her whole life grieving because she had killed the man she loved. Lois frowned did Martha say leave.

"What do you mean leave. You mean go back to metropolis right"

Martha shook her head. "It would be too painful for him to go back if he couldn't go back as Clark. I guess he is going to go somewhere where he can be Clark and Superman".

Anger built up inside of Lois. " Really! So not only do I lose him once but now I get to lose him again"

"But Lois you didn't really lose him" Martha told her.

Lois pulled back the covers on the bed and stood up. " That's right I never did lose him and I am not going to"

Lois strode towards the door and threw it open. She saw Clark sitting down at the table with his dad. Did he think he could just fly in, drop a bombshell like that and then leave; well he had another thing coming.

" Who do you think you are?" she yelled walking over to him.

"Lois it's me Clark" he said standing up startled by Lois outburst.

Lois poked him in the chest forcing him to sit down. " I know who you are, your Mr hypocrite. You carry on all the time about us being partners. Partners who share things with each other. Yet the first sign of trouble you go off and make decision on your own. Decisions that affect me. Did you think you could just tell me that you are Clark and Superman than just leave?"

Lois began to pace.

"What choice do I have" he asked. He could tell she was angry, real angry. A part of him wanted to smile though, this was his Lois.

"Come back to metropolis" she challenged.

" I cant. Clark is dead"

" Really he looks pretty alive to me"

Clark sighed. " Yes but Clark is supposed to be human. Getting shoot in the chest like that is supposed to be fatal. Clark isn't supposed to be bullet proof like Superman.

Bullet-proof 

" That's it" Lois screamed before grabbing Clark by the head and giving him a loud kiss on the mouth.

" Bullet proof. Clark was wearing a bullet proof vest"

"No I wasn't, " He told her.

"But no one else knows that. We could say you were wearing a bullet proof vest and that's why you aren't dead"

" Lois no one is going to believe that"

" Hold on honey" Martha told him. "She may be on to something"

"We could say you were wearing the vest because we knew how ruthless these guys could be," Lois told him.

"But a vest is pretty noticeable" He told her poking holes in her story.

"We will tell them you were undercover. Dressed up to look like one of those fat mafia guys. I wouldn't agree to wear one so you figured you should in case I get in trouble"

Clark nodded "Now that they would believe"

Lois smacked him on the chest. " We can tell the police you pretended to be dead in hopes they would take you back to where they were hiding out"

She frowned. " What did they do to you?"

"Chucked me into garbage from a moving car"

"Good"

"Good" he asked her. Ok so it didn't hurt but still she was revelling in him being thrown from a car.

"We can say that they threw you out of a car and you were hurt a little. You called for Superman and he found you"

"Great. Superman" he said rolling his eyes. It always came back to superman.

"Yes superman. Do you think the police will believe Superman would lie to them about this."

Lois began to pace as more of the plan to get Clark alive and well in metropolis formulated in her mind. " Superman was worried that if the gang thought you were alive they would try to kill you again. You and I were the only ones close to give a description of them clearly. Superman wanted us both out of the way until the gang was caught. So he flew us to stay with your parents using the cover that I was so upset to get me out of metropolis too "

"I don't know Lois" Clark told her. " It doesn't seem real enough"

"Once people see you, they wont care about they why or how. The fact that you are alive will be enough to cover any holes in the story. Am I right?" Lois asked Jonathon and Martha.

" Well" Jonathon said. " Seeing Clark would be proof"

" I think it's a great idea" Martha said excited.

"You think it will work?" Clark said looking at his parents shocked.

"You want to be Clark again," His father asked.

"Of course"

"Then take a chance"

"Ok" Clark said nodding. With a quick spin he was back in his superman outfit and heading towards the door.

"Hey. Where do you think you are going" Lois asked, hands on hips.

"Metropolis"

"Not with out me" She told him. "Don't argue Clark. You know I am better at it. I'm coming with you"

Clark tried to come up with a reply but the look Lois had on her face had him shutting his mouth.

Lois walked over to Martha and gave her a hug. " Thankyou for everything. I know I must have been a pain"

Martha hugged her back. " Don't be ridicules dear. You ever need to talk. Just give me a call or better yet get Clark to fly you here"

"Thank you. I will"

Lois then approached Clarks dad. " Thanks Jonathon" she said extending her hand.

Jonathon ignored her hand and pulled her into a hug. " No. Thank you Lois. You have given us back our boy. We will be in debt to you for the rest of our lives."

Lois stepped out of Jonathon's hug and smiled. She wished her parents had been as nice as Clarks. She watched as Clark bid his parents goodbye then scooped her up in his arms and flew back to metropolis.

Clark landed on the porch of his apartment and let Lois in.

" I want you to stay," he told her.

" But"

"No buts" He told her before she could get any more excuses out. " I agreed to bring you back, now stay put while I go to the police station"

" Why can't I go with you?" she asked.

" Because I am going as Superman. The police will think it's weird if I brought Clark and Lois back in the middle of the night. I'll tell them you are going to come in to give your statement in the morning."

Lois crossed her arms in front of her and pouted. He was right and she hated that.

"We will talk when I get back ok." He told her.

Lois nodded and watched as he flew off. Lois walked into Clark's apartment and sat on the couch. Talk when he got back, that's what he said. Well great what was she supposed to do in the mean time? Lois looked at Clarks computer and smiled. Be a reporter and get the story. Lois turned on the computer her fingers already itching to get the story out.

_Daily planet reporter, Clark Kent is alive_.

Lois frowned. It didn't make Clark sound very special.

_Daily planet award winning reporter Clark Kent is alive. After being gun downed while on an undercover investigation Kent was believed dead. If it had not been for the bulletproof vest he was secretly wearing Kent would be dead. After being shot the reporter feigned death hoping to find the location of Capone and his gang. When this plan fell through under the instruction of Superman, Clark Kent along with another daily planet award winning reporter Lois lane, left town. Superman was worried that the pair could become a target if the gang realised Kent was still alive. With Capone's gang locked away Clark Kent, Lois Lane and Superman went to the police to reveal the truth behind Clarks death. _

Lois smiled. All it needed was a title, a real eye grabber to let the world know that Clark was alive.

_Clarks Alive._

Well it was to the point but not zippy enough. Lois usually got Clark to pick a title. He would probably change it when he read it anyway. Lois began to tap her head with her hand. Think Lois. She had no idea how writers got ideas for the title of their movies.

Clark Kent Returns 

_By Lois Lane and Clark Kent._

Ok so she had written the story but it was only fair that Clark get a by line on his own death. Lois would give the story to Perry tomorrow and make sure it got front page. Saving the document Lois lay back against the couch. Now all she had to do was wait for Clark, or was it superman.

Clark landed back on his porch. It had taken longer at the police station than he had expected. Clark opened the door and walked in to find Lois asleep on the couch. He didn't blame her, it had been a long couple of days and even he was too tired to fly Lois home. Clark walked over to his room and changed into shorts and a t-shirt to sleep in. He walked back into the lounge and frowned as he saw the awkward position Lois was sleeping in. She would wake up with a crick in her neck. Picking her up Clark floated them over to his bed. He lowered Lois on to it then looked back towards the couch. He had spent many nights on it when his parents stayed. He wouldn't get a good night sleep on it. He looked at his bed and sighed. What the hell, Lois was already angry with him, how much angrier could she get. Clark slipped onto the bed with Lois and covered them both with the blanket. She could be angry with him all she wanted tomorrow, but for tonight he just wanted to hold her.

TBC

Authors notes: It's not over yet, review for more


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Lois smiled contently. She was happy. She didn't know why but at the moment she didn't care. Feeling the sun on her face Lois snuggled deeper into the bed. It was warm and soft. The blankets were wrapped around her body tightly. Lois frowned; she had woken up yesterday feeling warm and safe.

"Clark" she yelled sitting up. Lois began to suck in deep sobbing breaths.

"Clark"

" Lois its alright, I am right here" Clark said sitting up and wrapping his arms around her.

Lois turned to look at Clark. She stared at him for a few seconds before throwing her arms around him and holding him tight.

" I thought you were dead," she told him.

"It's ok Lois. Remember I am bullet proof" Clark said with a smile.

Lois pulled away from him and smiled. "Did the police believe you?"

"They asked about a million questions, but yes they did believe me"

Lois smiled triumphantly. Her idea had worked and now Clark and Superman would stay in metropolis.

" I told you it would"

Clark laid back down on his bed and put his hands over his eyes.

" I am never going to live it down am I? Every time you have an idea I don't agree with you will bring this up. My idea worked last time"

Lois turned to argue with Clark when she realised where they both were. She lifted the blanket and peaked under it. Clark began to laugh and Lois looked at him. He had removed his hands from his eyes and now had them behind his head.

"We didn't do anything but sleep Lois," He told her.

" I feel asleep on the couch. How did I end up in your bed?" she asked him.

" I don't know. I went to bed alone" Clark tried to keep a straight face as he lied to Lois. He watched as her mouth opened but nothing intelligent came out.

"I umm I"

Clark laughed. " I carried you in here"

" Oh"

"The couch isn't very comfortable," he informed her.

"So you figured, big bed why not?"

She was getting angry he could tell. At least she would be angry with him for sleeping in the same bed instead of being Superman.

" I figured it had been a long couple of days and all I wanted to do was fall asleep with you in my arms." He told her climbing out bed and heading towards the shower.

Ok so he was using the shower tactic to avoid her. Holding her in his arms last night had been the best feeling in the world. He didn't want her to tarnish his wonderful memories.

" You wanted to hold me," She asked getting out of bed and following him. She stopped at the entrance to the bathroom when she heard the shower turn on.

"Why?. Is that so hard to believe?" He said ducking his head under the spray.

"Yes" she stammered.

When Lois was going to marry Lex, Clark had told her he loved her. It had been a shock. She knew men looked at her and figured Clark was no different. It had thrown her world into jeopardy. Clark had been her rock, her strength. Good old dependable Clark. The one thing in her life that had been stable. How could he love her after the way she was always treating him. It hadn't mattered. When the planet was destroyed and their lives became separated, Lois realised how much she loved him too. When Clark had taken back that he loved her it had rocked her world yet again. She had been ready to tell him she loved him when he told her he didn't. Since then she had been harbouring her feelings. Lois lane wasn't going to go chasing after some guy. At least she wasn't until she had lost him. He knew she loved him. She had told Martha and Jonathon who had obviously told Clark as Superman had asked her about it. Superman/ Clark same difference. He knew, but hadn't said anything. Unless that was the reason he had told her who he really was. He could finally trust her now that he knew she loved him. Could she really be angry at him for keeping his secret. She knew what it was like finding people to trust. Martha was right if people found out that Clark was Superman he could say goodbye to a normal life.

" Lois, Lois are you there"

Lois grabbed Clarks hand that was waving in front of her face.

"I love you," she told him. Oh my! Had she really said that?

Clark smiled and reached a hand out to her face. " I know"

Lois backed away. "I know. That's all you have to say," she yelled angrily stalking out of the bathroom. She had barely taken two steps when she bumped into Clarks fully clothed form. He raised her chin so she was looking directly in his eyes.

" I love you to"

" You don't ha..."

"I have loved you from the first moment I saw you" he said interrupting her.

" But you told me you lied" she reminded him.

" I only lied when I said I wasn't in love with you," he told her. " Once I knew that you didn't love me I couldn't risk losing you. Things had already started getting awkward between us. I had to lie so we could spend time together, work together."

" I thought when you wouldn't come work at the news station with me it was because you hated me"

"I hated lex," He told her.

"And I was stupid"

"Well I can't argue there"

Lois smiled and gave him an affectionate smack on the chest.

"So if you love me and I love you, why are we standing here talking" Lois asked.

Clark smiled and lowered his mouth down to hers.

" Ok you can change back into your Clark clothes" Lois informed Clark as they stepped into the elevator.

After their very long kissing session Lois had returned home to change and then they had both gone to the police station to give their statements. As employees of the planet would be scattered throughout the building Clark had entered the planet building as Superman. Now they were in the elevator he could change back.

" Ok so ill go in and get every ones attention while you stay in the lift hidden"

"Lois we don't have to do it like this" He told her.

" Yes we do. You're alive. This is big news it deserves a big announcement." She said poking him in the chest.

" Ok ok" he said agreeing with her. She already had a copy of the Clark Kent Returns story in her hands ready to hand it to Perry.

The lift dinged to let them know they were at their floor. Lois pushed Clark up against the wall. " Keep the doors open" she said before kissing him.

Lois strolled out of the lift head held high. She walked to the railing and looked at the people working busy below. God she loved this place.

" Every one can I have your attention please"

A few people stopped but not everyone. Lois placed her fingers in her mouth and whistled. This time the whole newsroom stopped.

"What's going on here?" Perry said coming out of his office with Jimmy following.

" Perry I have some news that's going to knock your socks off"

"Lois honey" he said walking closer. " I told you to take a few days off. You shouldn't be here. The rest of us can write the news"

" What I have to tell you is better than a story, but I do have a story for you" she said holding up the papers in her hand.

"The last few days have been very strange and they're about to get stranger"

"Lois what's going on" Perry asked.

" Maybe its better if I show you. Clark" she called.

" Honey Clark is …" The Chiefs words were halted at the sight of Clark Kent walking out of the elevator.

"Great shades of Elvis"

"Hi" Clark said giving everyone a wave.

" C K" Jimmy called before running and jumping over a banister and grabbing Clark and pulling him into a hug. Realising what he had just done Jimmy stepped back and laughed. " He's real"

Lois linked her arm around Clarks.

" Yep he's alive and here to stay"

"You know Lois we never did have that talk about me being you know who"

Lois turned and looked at Clark. " You know what. I have decided it doesn't matter. Your alive that's the important thing"

" So you're going to yell at me later" he asked knowing Lois.

" Right" she told him. Pulling him into a kiss.

The newsroom erupted with cheering and clapping. A few "Its about time" could be heard from a people. Meanwhile Perry stood in the middle of the newsroom frozen with shock.

The end.

Authors note: I wasn't really sure on how I was going to end this. Which is really unusual for me I usually have the beginning and the end worked out but no guts. I decided not to have THE talk. I have a few other ideas in my mind for other Lois and Clark stories where THE talk , will happen, hopefully. I have been thinking of writing a story set during "The eyes have it" (the one where superman is blind) and "Honeymoon in metropolis" (Where they stay in the honey moon suite) although they may only be little one chapter stories not sure yet.

Well I hoped you liked Until it's Gone. Please review its what keeps me writing.

Natalie Elizabeth


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